Chapter 59 - Clarity & Indifference
Graham
It’s nearly Christmas, and I’m in grimy London, visiting Helen. I’m giving her a lift home in a borrowed car. I watch the streets of this city. "I can't understand why anyone would bomb London. I mean it's so diverse," I say to Helen.
I have something to tell her.
"A little too diverse for you dad. I expect that's one of the reasons why some former inhabitants move out of the city — too much change.”
“Are you suggesting I’m not open to change?” I confess, as I get older, I feel more at ease with what I find familiar, and I have to admit I’m not fond of London.
Helen is quiet.
“I’ve discovered that London is a lonely place, despite its diversity. I sense communities keep to themselves. The rich stay in the west, mainly, and the poor live everywhere else. African-Caribbeans in one part of London and Pakistanis in another. It's not what I expected. Not as tolerant of difference as the media would have you believe," Helen tells me.
We reach the City of London, within its ring of steel. I have to stop, because a young black woman in the car in front is doing a three-point turn. As we wait, we catch sight of a young small Asian man on the other side of the road, standing next to a police car, surrounded by three large, white male police officers.
"How strange, for me at least, to see a young Asian man being questioned by three white burly police officers," Helen says. The black woman completes her three-point-turn. "Is that legal?" Helen asks. "I suspect she may have been the one being questioned by the police, if she had done this before the 7th July bombings. And this chap here, would not have featured under the police radar," she adds.
Helen has always been interested in helping those that she perceives to be disadvantaged, and she —in part— belongs to the disadvantaged, she identifies herself as a black woman. I like to provoke her, and dispute this. Yet, it is good to see that my socialist ideologies have had some impact on Helen, even though I choose not to live by socialist values myself. I notice her boss has an E-class Mercedes, the latest model. It is very hard to practise fair, socialist values in a climate of indifference and narcissism.
"What happened in July is incredibly tragic Helen, but you know, in less fortunate countries, tragedies, often far larger than the London bombings are common; an everyday occurrence," I say. “I expect the majority of us feel sympathy for these atrocities, but some of us are experiencing problems of our own and cannot preoccupy ourselves with what happens beyond our doorstep.” I’ve lost interest in politics, acts of terrorism, or any other hard news story. Hopefully, Helen will pay attention to my news.
“My doctor says I have skin cancer.”
“Well it’s your lifestyle, all that Florida sun and perhaps too much food.” Helen is largely ignorant, but her response is not what I expected. I am shocked at her lack of sympathy. “Anyway, you may find out that it’s curable. Some of them are.”
Both Helen and I are overweight, physical characteristics that are very much frowned upon these days. Gluttony is one of the deadly sins I believe. Perhaps there is some wisdom to be gained from religious teaching. But I am surprised by Helen’s reaction. Despite her desire to help others, she seems not to care about her own father. She perceives that there is persistent indifference towards the suffering of others; indifference between continents, countries, cultures, faiths and communities. Yet, she has failed to take note of her indifference towards her own family.
Having this life-threatening disease, has enabled me to quickly gain clarity of what is important. It is clear that I should not care for Helen. I quickly drop her off. I will not be spending anytime —whatever time I have left—with this person who is said to be my daughter.
